If you are a believer in Jesus (primarily who this message today is for), or if you know the Bible at all, you’re probably thinking as you read the headline: “That guy’s lost his ever-loving marbles!” Or, “This headline is clickbait!”
I may have lost my marbles, but the headline is solid. Lemme esplain why.
Virtually everything about the affirmation industry is about self. We see others, not as people we can love, but who can love us. We think of our pets as creatures to love us. We want our families to love us, our friends to love us, and we believers definitely want God to love us.
We tend to be egocentric, seeing how everything’s about ME, that the universe revolves around ME. When it comes to love, most of us make that about ME as well.
And Christians… well, we are not immune to the world of affirmations, and I increasingly see believers changing up Bible promises and passages to be more… affirmation-esque.
It’s the same thing, not the same thing
Truth is, nowhere in the Bible is it said that “You are loved” by God, at least not the way the affirmation says you are. This is more like the way God tells us He loves us:
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16 (most popular and quoted verse in the Bible)
“See?! Says so right there. God loves us!”
Of course He loves us. While it is true that we are loved by God, that is not how God usually chooses to reveal it. He reveals it differently than the affirmation. And the difference is important. THAT is what I’m talking about.
One of the central, classic needs in the world of affirmations is to convince yourself (or to accept) that you have value, that you are loved and worth being loved – loved by yourself, loved by those who know you, loved by the God who created you, whoever you want love from.
That God loves us is undeniable if you understand Him and His word. There is a ton of Scriptures that assures us God loves us. It’s at the heart of why Jesus Christ came to this world to die for us.
John tells us God loves us. The gospels tell us God loves us. Jesus Himself told us He loves us. Old Testament and New, in many ways and in a thousand words, throughout the history of mankind, God loves us. No doubt about it.
the heart of the “I am loved” affirmation
So, what’s the problem with saying “I am loved” by God?
It is true that you are loved by God. Obviously if God loves you, then you are loved by God, so the statement “You are loved” is equally valid. So, again, what’s my problem with the way the affirmation says it?
Say these two statements out loud:
1. God loves me. 2. I am loved (by God)
They are both true, but which statement is a stronger statement of fact? Who is the emphasis on in each statement?
Saying I am loved makes ME the focus of that love. It puts more emphasis on who receives the love rather than on the one who gives it, whether you are referring to God or to another human being. It’s also a passive statement. You simply are loved. It’s a state of being. It doesn’t do much. It just sits there.
It might make you feel all nice and comfy, but it doesn’t do much more than make you feel good about yourself. And when you say, I am loved, who, exactly, is doing the loving that makes you feel like you are loved?
The way most people use this affirmation, love comes softly out of the ether somewhere, probably from the expansive, generous heart of a spiritualized universe, I guess.
But when God or Christ says, “I love you,” the active tense is used. There is nothing passive about it. Not only that, but GOD becomes the focus of that love, the One who does the loving, rather than the one who receives it.
Learn to discern
Look at the following biblical passage as it appears in the ESV (English Standard Version) of the Holy Bible:
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.
Jesus, to His disciples – John 13: 34-35
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
Now read it again, but this time, let’s rewrite it to conform to this “I am loved” affirmation:
A new commandment I give to you, that you are loved by one another: just as you are loved by Me, you also are to be loved by one another.
What Jesus did NOT say to His disciples
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you receive love from one another.
Can you spot the difference? It’s not even close. Can you see how much more powerful the actual statement is?
What (or who) is the focus of your affirmations?
When God says, “I love you,” it’s an action verb, not a passive state of being. The focus is on the one who does the loving, rather than on the one who receives it. God is actively involved in the process of loving. Sure, we all want to receive love and all kinds of other stuff, but…
In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how He Himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’
Paul to Ephesian elders – Acts 20:35
You might be tempted to think that all of this is splitting hairs, but if you look carefully at the affirmation vs. the way God tells us He loves us, I think you’ll see what I’m driving at.
Affirmations have thoroughly conditioned people towards the self, which is not hard to do, seeing as how we already have an inherited weakness for it. We are inherently selfish by nature. Therefore, it can be hard to see how some of the true affirmations (like the I am loved affirmation we’re discussing today) are carefully worded in such a way as to be true in themselves, but at the same time, they take away the richer and fuller meaning of the truth.
Those affirmations take the focus off God and put it right back on us.
Affirmations take away from the richer and fuller meaning of God’s promises and His word.
While many worldly affirmations are overtly pagan, others are quite subtle. This distinction is supremely important, because these differences between the promises of God and the affirmations of the world confuse people and teach half-truths or lessen the impact of truth.
The affirmation is: You are loved. The Bible promise is: God loves you.
Look at which one the modern Contemporary Christian Music (CCM) industry uses the most. One is You-centered. The other is God-centered.
I’ll leave this topic with you on one last thought: Would you rather hear “I love you!” or “You are loved!”?